No clue

Sometimes I wonder what life will be like in one year. I guess when it comes down to it, I wonder what my life will be like financially. People say that "it's not about money" but it is. And i don't like that. As Christians, we are suppose to be in the world but not part of it.. or however you'd like to say it. It's not even like I want to buy a new bmw or something. Just simple things like i really need a new pair of shoes because the ones i wear to work are killing me slowly day after day and can I just go and buy a new pair or will i have to wait for a few months after i saved my money. And theirs nothing wrong with saving up for things, but what if i run out of milk and eggs.. maybe bread too all at once. Can I go that day and buy them all fresh? I can't today.
So i was in the dressing room trying on a pair of pants, which were not expensive and I thought about the idea of saving up a whole bunch of money and flying out to california to go shopping with emily like I said I would. It seems so far fetched right now, but I wonder if I'll ever be able to do it. Because I will... even if it takes me years to save... I will. The whole "finacial stress" thing is so dumb. And at this point i don't really feel that stressed, i guess i'm use to it. I just think it's really a pain. I don't believe we were meant to live like that. I would love it if I had a whole farm of chickens and I traded my eggs for emily's tomatoes and rob's deliciously fresh milk. Why can't it be like that anymore? Who created money? Dumb.

What will it be like when I have a real person job? Will that day ever come. It seems so far away, yet i know it's so close. And the best part (or sad whichever way you choose to look at it) is that i'm so excited to assist people and just get tips. Or just make a flat rate of a few hundred a week. Which is nothing compared to what other people make in the world. But then it is tons compared to what other people make. I'm just excited to get paid.