The Future

I've been thinking a lot lately how I feel like I missed my boat (even though I know I didn't). Sometimes I let my thoughts linger there a bit too long. But really, I desire God. Part of me thinks it would be so pimp if I were graduating from Moody right now, or in my last year at Eternity Bible College, surfing, and knowing Chan personally (i'm getting sick of the podcast relationship... it's time to move to the next level). Part of me is unsure of why I am not doing any of the above - but the other part knows exactly why I am not. Because, first of all, I really didn't know about any of these until a year or so ago... EBC would be months ago. And second, because I don't think that is what God had in store for me, or, I'd be there.

Sometimes I try to play out the future of what may happen by my surrounding circumstances (people, work, relationships, life). Most of the time I end up in California because that is where Emily will most likely be and I'll follow her to the ends of the earth. It's like six degrees to California for me - and I pick the most absurd ways to get there too. Non of which are logical, because the God I'm in love with is CrAzY and completely willing to stir things up. I really do wonder what will happen. I think that is the most fun though. I'll never know until it happens and when it does, I have to buckle up and go along for the ride. Let Him "throw me into the fire" as Cliff would put it.

I feel it in my heart. I'm ready. But really I'm sure I'm not. I can never know what God has for me and I think I can only prepare so much for what might happen and the rest will be "on-the-job-training". I'm so very thankful that at this point in time my heart is truly breaking for those who don't know Jesus and love him dearly. I ask God so much to just break my heart and though it's breaking it's nothing compared to the love God feels for them... this I am sure of.

I'm not sure I have much else to say, except that I want more followers. :)