Jesus, Jesus, could you tell me what the problem is
With the world and all the people in it?
Because I’ve been hearing stories about the end of the world
But I’m in love with a girl and I don’t wanna leave her
And the television screams such hideous things
They’re talking about the war on the radio
They say the whole thing’s gonna blow
And we will all be left alone
No we’ll be dead and we won’t know what hit usJesus, Jesus, if you’re up there won’t you hear me
‘Cause I’ve been wondering if you’re listening for quite a while
And Jesus, Jesus, it’s such a pretty place we live in
And I know we fuc*ed it up, please be kind
Don’t let us go out like the dinosaurs
Or blown to bits in a third world war
There are a hundred different things I’d still like to do
I’d like to climb to the top of the Eiffel Tower
Look up from the ground at a meteor shower
And maybe even raise a familyJesus, Jesus, there are those that say they love you
But they have treated me so d*mn mean
And I know you said ‘forgive them for they know not what they do’
But sometimes I think they do
And I think about you
If all the heathens burn in hell, do all their children burn as well?
What about the Muslims and the gays and the unwed mothers?
What about me and all my friends?
Are we all sinners if we sin?
Does it even matter in the end if we’re unhappy?Jesus, Jesus, I’m still looking for answers
Though I know that I won’t find them here tonight
But Jesus, Jesus, could you call me if you have the time?
And maybe we could meet for coffee and work it out
And maybe then I’ll understand what it’s all about
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Jesus, Jesus
I was showed this song a few days ago and cannot get over it. It's so honest and real. Yeah, there are three swear words, but looking past that, it's just an open song. I feel that it is a worship song and I can totally relate. It's like a prayer.... Here's the song and the lyrics.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
God Hates Fags
I was appalled when I heard that someone was making t-shirts that said this and other bad things. I was even more so appalled when I heard it was a Church making these t-shirts. I was even more so appalled when I went to the website www.godhatesfags.com ... which is the church website. This is what I found on their picket line schedule...
Sprint Center - Moron Choir thinks songs will save them! 1407 Grand Blvd There is nothing better than picketing a bunch of adulterers who have made a religion based on adultery, and tried to literally make that a holy cause. And to get to picket them on a hot summer night in KCMO. Talk about good times! We are going to bring the heat to the Mormon pervert party. Pretty soon these freaks will not be marrying the little girls, but will be buying them up to cook and eat them. Obama will bring the trauma, and that will be straight from the hand of God! These filthy sexual deviants have the nerve now to sound out because the fags are being allowed to marry - so they want to marry. No standard is better than God's standard RIGHT BASTARDS?! Malachi 2:13 And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand. 14 Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. 15 And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. 16 For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously. 17 Ye have wearied the LORD with your words. Yet ye say, Wherein have we wearied him? When ye say, Every one that doeth evil is good in the sight of the LORD, and he delighteth in them; or, Where is the God of judgment? That right there is why the nasty libidinous piece of trash who made up this religion had to create some other text to follow - he knew there was NO WAY the Holy Bible would condone his sins. AMEN!
AND
Compass Points Bible Church - Quit LYING You hate the Bible! 1500 Kerns Rd The servants of God are some very happy, fortunate ducks (you will get the pun later). These humble servants of the God who makes alive and who makes DEAD will be traveling to the filthy, now full of smoke and ashes land of Canada (Ontario to be exact)for to picket outside the memorial of the dead youth. Now, you really have to know this next part. Okay so the young woman is in the bathroom, right, and a relatively new wall falls on her and kills her. Here is the entertaining part, ready: She spent literally hours and hours each day practicing and training for the 2016 Olympics as a swimmer! That is just too, too funny. All that time in water, then she dies BESIDE water - filthy water on top of that! Hilarious. We must remind these brutes who have made speaking truth to your neighbor a crime in that filthy land. We must remind them of a few things, to wit: Deuteronomy 32:39 ¶ See now that I, even I, am he, and there is no god with me: I kill, and I make alive; I wound, and I heal: neither is there any that can deliver out of my hand. 40 For I lift up my hand to heaven, and say, I live for ever. 41 If I whet my glittering sword, and mine hand take hold on judgment; I will render vengeance to mine enemies, and will reward them that hate me. 42 I will make mine arrows drunk with blood, and my sword shall devour flesh; and that with the blood of the slain and of the captives, from the beginning of revenges upon the enemy. 43 Rejoice, O ye nations, with his people: for he will avenge the blood of his servants, and will render vengeance to his adversaries, and will be merciful unto his land, and to his people. You dummies in Canada had an opportunity to rejoice with us over the sovereign, and righteous Judgments of God upon the people of this DOOMED world. Instead you joined the ranks of the enemies of God so it is NO REJOICING for you! Obama will do what he must to destroy DOOMED america then he will take over your nation and all the other nations - and you will rue the day you lifted up your false idols and reared up a generation which despises God, His standards and who threatens the servants of that same God who killed the silly little Catholic tart in the bathroom. AWKWARD all around, and AMEN! Praise God for His works in this earth!
Those are only two upcoming pickets in the next week. There is a whole list of it. I was sick to my stomach. Not only are they not revering the verse that says Do not judge but they are basically getting rid of it all together. Where is the line drawn? I'm upset the most because someone is leading a whole bunch of people to believe this is okay. It's totally NOT okay. And second, people all over see this church and especially the people they picket see this church and see what is suppose to be the body of Christ. They see this and think that they would never want to do that. They are giving Christ the worst name ever and I feel so bad. My thought just went to saul/paul. He was such a zealot - on his way to kill a whole bunch of Christians (not like he hadn't done enough of that already) - and God blinded him for three days. After that he saw and literally the veil was gone and he turned the opposite way. Turned to Christ and saw all the pain he had caused and how wrong he was. He served the rest of his life suffering for Christ and serving Him as best he could.
All I can ask is that while we proclaim the Christ like life, that we back it up. That we truly watch our actions, words, and thought and we live as fully for Christ and like him as we can.
Sprint Center - Moron Choir thinks songs will save them! 1407 Grand Blvd There is nothing better than picketing a bunch of adulterers who have made a religion based on adultery, and tried to literally make that a holy cause. And to get to picket them on a hot summer night in KCMO. Talk about good times! We are going to bring the heat to the Mormon pervert party. Pretty soon these freaks will not be marrying the little girls, but will be buying them up to cook and eat them. Obama will bring the trauma, and that will be straight from the hand of God! These filthy sexual deviants have the nerve now to sound out because the fags are being allowed to marry - so they want to marry. No standard is better than God's standard RIGHT BASTARDS?! Malachi 2:13 And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand. 14 Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. 15 And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. 16 For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously. 17 Ye have wearied the LORD with your words. Yet ye say, Wherein have we wearied him? When ye say, Every one that doeth evil is good in the sight of the LORD, and he delighteth in them; or, Where is the God of judgment? That right there is why the nasty libidinous piece of trash who made up this religion had to create some other text to follow - he knew there was NO WAY the Holy Bible would condone his sins. AMEN!
AND
Compass Points Bible Church - Quit LYING You hate the Bible! 1500 Kerns Rd The servants of God are some very happy, fortunate ducks (you will get the pun later). These humble servants of the God who makes alive and who makes DEAD will be traveling to the filthy, now full of smoke and ashes land of Canada (Ontario to be exact)for to picket outside the memorial of the dead youth. Now, you really have to know this next part. Okay so the young woman is in the bathroom, right, and a relatively new wall falls on her and kills her. Here is the entertaining part, ready: She spent literally hours and hours each day practicing and training for the 2016 Olympics as a swimmer! That is just too, too funny. All that time in water, then she dies BESIDE water - filthy water on top of that! Hilarious. We must remind these brutes who have made speaking truth to your neighbor a crime in that filthy land. We must remind them of a few things, to wit: Deuteronomy 32:39 ¶ See now that I, even I, am he, and there is no god with me: I kill, and I make alive; I wound, and I heal: neither is there any that can deliver out of my hand. 40 For I lift up my hand to heaven, and say, I live for ever. 41 If I whet my glittering sword, and mine hand take hold on judgment; I will render vengeance to mine enemies, and will reward them that hate me. 42 I will make mine arrows drunk with blood, and my sword shall devour flesh; and that with the blood of the slain and of the captives, from the beginning of revenges upon the enemy. 43 Rejoice, O ye nations, with his people: for he will avenge the blood of his servants, and will render vengeance to his adversaries, and will be merciful unto his land, and to his people. You dummies in Canada had an opportunity to rejoice with us over the sovereign, and righteous Judgments of God upon the people of this DOOMED world. Instead you joined the ranks of the enemies of God so it is NO REJOICING for you! Obama will do what he must to destroy DOOMED america then he will take over your nation and all the other nations - and you will rue the day you lifted up your false idols and reared up a generation which despises God, His standards and who threatens the servants of that same God who killed the silly little Catholic tart in the bathroom. AWKWARD all around, and AMEN! Praise God for His works in this earth!
Those are only two upcoming pickets in the next week. There is a whole list of it. I was sick to my stomach. Not only are they not revering the verse that says Do not judge but they are basically getting rid of it all together. Where is the line drawn? I'm upset the most because someone is leading a whole bunch of people to believe this is okay. It's totally NOT okay. And second, people all over see this church and especially the people they picket see this church and see what is suppose to be the body of Christ. They see this and think that they would never want to do that. They are giving Christ the worst name ever and I feel so bad. My thought just went to saul/paul. He was such a zealot - on his way to kill a whole bunch of Christians (not like he hadn't done enough of that already) - and God blinded him for three days. After that he saw and literally the veil was gone and he turned the opposite way. Turned to Christ and saw all the pain he had caused and how wrong he was. He served the rest of his life suffering for Christ and serving Him as best he could.
All I can ask is that while we proclaim the Christ like life, that we back it up. That we truly watch our actions, words, and thought and we live as fully for Christ and like him as we can.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Chan is back in my life
I have not been running in far too long, and since I listen to Chan when I run, I have not heard from him in far too long either. Today, he talked to me about the church, their plans for building a new one (which is way cool by the way), and how we as a body of believers should be.
Sometimes when I listen to him, i feel like I'm reading Irresistible Revolution By Shane Claiborne. Which basically means that they both believe in living a biblical life. We should be more than willing to take care of a fellow member of the body of Christ if they ever come into need. Our lives on Sunday's should be the same as on Thursdays. We should feel the need to take other peoples burdens upon ourselves instead of leaving it up to the pastor or a different group within the church. We should be striving everyday to live out what the Bible says. We should not need to classify ourselves as "Non-denominational", "Baptist", "Catholic", or "Lutheran" but as a group of people who believe in the Bible.
To me, it seems simple. I suppose I should be the change I want to see in the church, eh?
Sometimes when I listen to him, i feel like I'm reading Irresistible Revolution By Shane Claiborne. Which basically means that they both believe in living a biblical life. We should be more than willing to take care of a fellow member of the body of Christ if they ever come into need. Our lives on Sunday's should be the same as on Thursdays. We should feel the need to take other peoples burdens upon ourselves instead of leaving it up to the pastor or a different group within the church. We should be striving everyday to live out what the Bible says. We should not need to classify ourselves as "Non-denominational", "Baptist", "Catholic", or "Lutheran" but as a group of people who believe in the Bible.
To me, it seems simple. I suppose I should be the change I want to see in the church, eh?
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Romans is what's up
I'm journal-less and dying inside because of it. This morning I'm sitting downstairs with Jen telling her how confusing Romans is and how difficult it is for me to read it because Paul has a way with words here that obviously really confuses me. Not two seconds later God rocks my world and shows me so much stuff. Awesome!
Best verse ever: The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. Romans 8:19
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed... Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. Romans 8: Something find it yourself.
Chan was just talking the other day about this I believe. How we should be waiting for this. Sitting on the edge of our seats just waiting for the day that Christ returns. Waiting in EAGER EXPECTATION and waiting PATIENTLY. Sometimes though, I'm not very patient and I just want it to happen. Then i realize how selfish I am and I go back to the verse in 1 Timothy (2:3-4) that says, " This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth." So then i become patient again realizing that not everyone who needs to has handed their lives into God's hands. It makes me pray more. This all is just clarification that we need to be living everyday to honor God and glorify Him. We are not promised tomorrow.
With that, go out and make the most of opportunity. Success = when opportunity is met with preparedness.
Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage - with great patience and careful instruction. 2 Timothy 4: 2
Best verse ever: The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. Romans 8:19
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed... Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. Romans 8: Something find it yourself.
Chan was just talking the other day about this I believe. How we should be waiting for this. Sitting on the edge of our seats just waiting for the day that Christ returns. Waiting in EAGER EXPECTATION and waiting PATIENTLY. Sometimes though, I'm not very patient and I just want it to happen. Then i realize how selfish I am and I go back to the verse in 1 Timothy (2:3-4) that says, " This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth." So then i become patient again realizing that not everyone who needs to has handed their lives into God's hands. It makes me pray more. This all is just clarification that we need to be living everyday to honor God and glorify Him. We are not promised tomorrow.
With that, go out and make the most of opportunity. Success = when opportunity is met with preparedness.
Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage - with great patience and careful instruction. 2 Timothy 4: 2
Friday, May 22, 2009
2 Timothy
I just sat down to read 2 Timothy for tonight. Boy Oh Boy is it intense. One might think that I would have learned my lesson after reading 1 Timothy in one sitting. But, Nope. There is just so much in these books.
Here are two things that completely rocked me.
1. Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs - he wants to please his commanding officer. Similarly, if anyone competes as an athlete, he does not receive the victor's crown unless he competes by the rules. -- 2 Timothy 2: 3-5
My immediate thought is that people really don't read the Bible. If they did, they would read things like this and go, "Oh. So if i party hardcore all week long but go to church every Sunday... that's still not good enough? I'm suppose to live like a soldier would and obey rules? Really?"
2. Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage - with great patience and careful instruction. For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. -- 2 Timothy 4:2-4
My jaw dropped and I thought, "This is us now." Arguments are made left and right about all sorts of things, for the sole reason that anyone can make anything look the way they would like it to. Just make a sound argument and, "Ta Da" You've got yourself a new theology. woop woop! That's why it's so important that we read EVERY day in order to stay sound and solid in the Living Word of Christ Jesus.
Here are two things that completely rocked me.
1. Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs - he wants to please his commanding officer. Similarly, if anyone competes as an athlete, he does not receive the victor's crown unless he competes by the rules. -- 2 Timothy 2: 3-5
My immediate thought is that people really don't read the Bible. If they did, they would read things like this and go, "Oh. So if i party hardcore all week long but go to church every Sunday... that's still not good enough? I'm suppose to live like a soldier would and obey rules? Really?"
2. Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage - with great patience and careful instruction. For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. -- 2 Timothy 4:2-4
My jaw dropped and I thought, "This is us now." Arguments are made left and right about all sorts of things, for the sole reason that anyone can make anything look the way they would like it to. Just make a sound argument and, "Ta Da" You've got yourself a new theology. woop woop! That's why it's so important that we read EVERY day in order to stay sound and solid in the Living Word of Christ Jesus.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Deliverance
This is not my story but Taylor Griffith's ( http://taylorgriffith.theworldrace.org/?filename=bio ) He is a member of the World Race trip leaving in June. This story is crazy insane and God seriously did it all. He is The Most Powerful.
Eighteen years ago I became ensnared by the attractive web of hardcore porn. I was a six year old Christian and the 18 years that followed have been full of many different struggles. I mean, I'm sure we can all attest to having mommy and daddy issues, issues of self-worth, loneliness, insecurity, and hopelessness. I experienced all of these and more. It was all big stuff, but the porn, that eventually grew into a drive for sex, continued to be a CRUSHING burden with no escape in sight. I did experience growth and success in areas of my life and even bared fruit in the name of Christ, but I never experienced deliverance, deliverance that we all read so much about in the Bible. That is until this Thursday, April 2nd, on AIM's training grounds.
After five days of experiencing freedom from my generational family sin, feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, the need for female attention, and a laundry list of others, we began talking about spiritual gifts like: prophecy, healing, visions, and intercession. After Pastor Mark finished speaking, he invited any member of our 34 person team, who wanted more of what God had to offer, even if we weren't sure about all this stuff, to come up and be prayed for. I knew that I wanted to receive any gifts that God would give me, so I walked up, trying the whole time to fight off the doubts that continued to grow in my mind. You see, after experiencing days full of emotional freedom, and a pouring and softening of my heart, it was strange that on this night I didn't feel a thing, nothing at all. As I'm standing there, waiting, Matt, one of our leaders, looks up at me from praying over a friend. He gives me a huge smile and points at me while mouthing the word, "You!" At this point I knew it was time to get down to bitness.
Continue reading at your own "religious" risk, because I'm about to blow the top off that box you've kept God in all these years! I'm not really sure why I fell, but as Matt and Pastor Mark began praying over me, I lost my footing and Matt slowly lowered me to the ground. They never stopped praying, even for a second. Pastor Mark walked off to tend to others, while my brother Will walked over to replace him. At this point I had begun to shake sporadically . I would experience short bursts of intense shaking, or a long sting of gentle shaking. My left hand began to take on the form like that of a stroke victim and my mouth was locked in some form a "O" shape. I began to feel something moving in my arm and mouth as well. It was as if my body were numb and asleep, without the needling pain that usually accompanies such sensations. As my convulsions grew bigger and more intense, I started sputtering. The men praying over me were encouraging me to speak in tongues and inviting the Holy Spirit to work through me. All the while I was thinking, "Hmm, this is getting pretty weird, but I guess I'm starting to speak in tongues!"
Matt heard my sputters and urged me to speak louder. Will was beginning to praise God, but his heart was telling him to, "Rebuke!" Will was confused, "No God, this is a good thing! He's speaking in tongues and your Spirit is on him. This can't be bad!" But his heart continued to shout, "Rebuke!" He was getting frustrated, so he opened his eyes. When he did this, what he saw and did after his eyes were open confirmed what his heart was saying. At the base of my throat was a giant lump and when Will put his hand on the lump, I think we all knew at that moment it wasn't the Holy Spirit I was manifesting, but a demon! "Holy s--t...it's a demon," I remember thinking. The intensity of Matt's prayers increased and I could literally feel the air around me growing thicker as my convulsions and their prayers grew in paralleled unison. Once Matt felt that it was a demon, he began asking God to give him its name. He prayed louder and harder! "Give me a name Lord! I need the name!" That was all Will needed to hear and he finally confirmed his heart with his mouth and shouted, "I rebuke you!" Matt immediately followed that with the demon's name, "Sexual shame!"
My eyes shot open! My body took on a mind of its own! I had no control, but I felt everything. Anger, so much anger! Their hands had been on me, but they lost their grip as I tried to pull away. I started for the left side of the room, but by this time they had tackled me back to the ground. I was clawing the ground and screaming, "Nooo! Nooo! Nooo!" With a guttural scream that came from something deeper than myself. It was full of fear, power, and hate. I was literally dragging the two of them across the room. They never stopped praying! Time seemed to slow down and the two to three minutes after the demon manifested itself seem much longer now as I'm remembering it. By this time two more guys on our team joined Matt and Will in holding me down and praying over me. I remember seeing Warren and AJ with their faces taking on intense forms of prayer as the demon was trying to fight them off. Four men were trying to hold me down and I was still dragging them as I fought. I was so strong! Then there came the turning point...
I literally felt a weight come over me, that was so heavy, I can only assume was the hand of God. The demon was powerless, but I could still feel the intense hatred! Somehow during this time they flipped me onto my back and Matt had begun praying into my face as loudly and powerfully as he could muster. The demon looked him square in the face and the hate grew more intense! It was hard to believe! My screams of, "Nooo!", turned to curses of, "F--- you! F--- you! F--- you!" They never stopped praying. The process climaxed and the Spirit of God was upon me. The demon had no choice, but to flee, he was beaten.
I immediately felt an incredible peace. I was sweating, hoarse, and exhausted beyond measure, but there was a giant smile on my face. I knew and felt God's love in the deepest parts of my soul. I had been given freedom, a word that has become the theme of my life these past days. I finally recognized the power of God's people and the strength he's put in all us Christians! The box of religion that I've always put him in was laying pieces around me. "Thank you Father," I breathed.
--- If you have any questions, I encourage you to ask! This is pretty big stuff for most of us. It is big for me! But I believe that our God is capable of anything! He loves you and wants you to know that He sent His son to set you free!
~~~
Free indeed.
Eighteen years ago I became ensnared by the attractive web of hardcore porn. I was a six year old Christian and the 18 years that followed have been full of many different struggles. I mean, I'm sure we can all attest to having mommy and daddy issues, issues of self-worth, loneliness, insecurity, and hopelessness. I experienced all of these and more. It was all big stuff, but the porn, that eventually grew into a drive for sex, continued to be a CRUSHING burden with no escape in sight. I did experience growth and success in areas of my life and even bared fruit in the name of Christ, but I never experienced deliverance, deliverance that we all read so much about in the Bible. That is until this Thursday, April 2nd, on AIM's training grounds.
After five days of experiencing freedom from my generational family sin, feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, the need for female attention, and a laundry list of others, we began talking about spiritual gifts like: prophecy, healing, visions, and intercession. After Pastor Mark finished speaking, he invited any member of our 34 person team, who wanted more of what God had to offer, even if we weren't sure about all this stuff, to come up and be prayed for. I knew that I wanted to receive any gifts that God would give me, so I walked up, trying the whole time to fight off the doubts that continued to grow in my mind. You see, after experiencing days full of emotional freedom, and a pouring and softening of my heart, it was strange that on this night I didn't feel a thing, nothing at all. As I'm standing there, waiting, Matt, one of our leaders, looks up at me from praying over a friend. He gives me a huge smile and points at me while mouthing the word, "You!" At this point I knew it was time to get down to bitness.
Continue reading at your own "religious" risk, because I'm about to blow the top off that box you've kept God in all these years! I'm not really sure why I fell, but as Matt and Pastor Mark began praying over me, I lost my footing and Matt slowly lowered me to the ground. They never stopped praying, even for a second. Pastor Mark walked off to tend to others, while my brother Will walked over to replace him. At this point I had begun to shake sporadically . I would experience short bursts of intense shaking, or a long sting of gentle shaking. My left hand began to take on the form like that of a stroke victim and my mouth was locked in some form a "O" shape. I began to feel something moving in my arm and mouth as well. It was as if my body were numb and asleep, without the needling pain that usually accompanies such sensations. As my convulsions grew bigger and more intense, I started sputtering. The men praying over me were encouraging me to speak in tongues and inviting the Holy Spirit to work through me. All the while I was thinking, "Hmm, this is getting pretty weird, but I guess I'm starting to speak in tongues!"
Matt heard my sputters and urged me to speak louder. Will was beginning to praise God, but his heart was telling him to, "Rebuke!" Will was confused, "No God, this is a good thing! He's speaking in tongues and your Spirit is on him. This can't be bad!" But his heart continued to shout, "Rebuke!" He was getting frustrated, so he opened his eyes. When he did this, what he saw and did after his eyes were open confirmed what his heart was saying. At the base of my throat was a giant lump and when Will put his hand on the lump, I think we all knew at that moment it wasn't the Holy Spirit I was manifesting, but a demon! "Holy s--t...it's a demon," I remember thinking. The intensity of Matt's prayers increased and I could literally feel the air around me growing thicker as my convulsions and their prayers grew in paralleled unison. Once Matt felt that it was a demon, he began asking God to give him its name. He prayed louder and harder! "Give me a name Lord! I need the name!" That was all Will needed to hear and he finally confirmed his heart with his mouth and shouted, "I rebuke you!" Matt immediately followed that with the demon's name, "Sexual shame!"
My eyes shot open! My body took on a mind of its own! I had no control, but I felt everything. Anger, so much anger! Their hands had been on me, but they lost their grip as I tried to pull away. I started for the left side of the room, but by this time they had tackled me back to the ground. I was clawing the ground and screaming, "Nooo! Nooo! Nooo!" With a guttural scream that came from something deeper than myself. It was full of fear, power, and hate. I was literally dragging the two of them across the room. They never stopped praying! Time seemed to slow down and the two to three minutes after the demon manifested itself seem much longer now as I'm remembering it. By this time two more guys on our team joined Matt and Will in holding me down and praying over me. I remember seeing Warren and AJ with their faces taking on intense forms of prayer as the demon was trying to fight them off. Four men were trying to hold me down and I was still dragging them as I fought. I was so strong! Then there came the turning point...
I literally felt a weight come over me, that was so heavy, I can only assume was the hand of God. The demon was powerless, but I could still feel the intense hatred! Somehow during this time they flipped me onto my back and Matt had begun praying into my face as loudly and powerfully as he could muster. The demon looked him square in the face and the hate grew more intense! It was hard to believe! My screams of, "Nooo!", turned to curses of, "F--- you! F--- you! F--- you!" They never stopped praying. The process climaxed and the Spirit of God was upon me. The demon had no choice, but to flee, he was beaten.
I immediately felt an incredible peace. I was sweating, hoarse, and exhausted beyond measure, but there was a giant smile on my face. I knew and felt God's love in the deepest parts of my soul. I had been given freedom, a word that has become the theme of my life these past days. I finally recognized the power of God's people and the strength he's put in all us Christians! The box of religion that I've always put him in was laying pieces around me. "Thank you Father," I breathed.
--- If you have any questions, I encourage you to ask! This is pretty big stuff for most of us. It is big for me! But I believe that our God is capable of anything! He loves you and wants you to know that He sent His son to set you free!
~~~
Free indeed.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
In 3 days...
...Emily and I were suppose to leave for our summer long trip across America. The schedule was as follows:
May 17 = Buffalo
May 21 = NYC
May 28 = Pittsburgh
June 1 = Chicago
June 8 = St. Louis
June 15 = Phoenix
June 23 = California bound
July 23 = homeward bound
It's crazy to think that this was happening... to the point where I have all the dates written down. Maybe Emily will read this and say, "Hey, we are still leaving on the 17th, pack your bags. Quit your job. Let's go." Who really needs a job anyway. They are a waste of time to me.
I just want to live my life to the fullest and fullest means doing as much for God as I possibly can. Even if that means leaving in 3 days to talk to all the major city drunks and get their prayer requests. One day, besides MORO, Emily and I are going to do something so strange that it will blow the socks off of more than just our Pastor and his wife.
May 17 = Buffalo
May 21 = NYC
May 28 = Pittsburgh
June 1 = Chicago
June 8 = St. Louis
June 15 = Phoenix
June 23 = California bound
July 23 = homeward bound
It's crazy to think that this was happening... to the point where I have all the dates written down. Maybe Emily will read this and say, "Hey, we are still leaving on the 17th, pack your bags. Quit your job. Let's go." Who really needs a job anyway. They are a waste of time to me.
I just want to live my life to the fullest and fullest means doing as much for God as I possibly can. Even if that means leaving in 3 days to talk to all the major city drunks and get their prayer requests. One day, besides MORO, Emily and I are going to do something so strange that it will blow the socks off of more than just our Pastor and his wife.
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